It has been a journey. Nevin attended public school until he was 10 years old. During that time we worked with many people who worked VERY hard to provide Nevin with an education environment where he could learn. He was fully included and had a one-on-one associate from kindergarten on. He was well loved by both the adults who worked with him and by his peers. Many adaptions were needed to help him learn and to help him communicate. I worked very, very hard to support him.
Still..... he struggled.... he exerted his power via "behavior". He had an incredible repetoire of ways to refuse, these ranged from hiding under the table.... to locking himself in the janitor's closet.... to being silly...... being loud..... pouting..... appearing deaf..... sleeping..... being sick...... begging to go home...... leaving the building..... being a clown....... being a bully...... being a BIG distraction...... etc. etc. And coming IN from recess when the bell rings..... are you kidding me? and Nevin's opinion on that was "why?". I can still see it.... I stopped in at the school, looked out the window as his class was lined up to come in...... and he was being carried in by two assistants.... one under each of his arms, him frozen in his sitting position with his legs still crossed. Sorta looked like they were carrying in a buddha statue. and actually quite comical, if you weren't one of the red-faced, frustrated assistants :) Our meetings would often be about behavior strategies vs. learning.
I was often the one helping them come up with strategies to beef up communication, manage behavior. I was the one implementing consequences at the end of the day depending on whether he came home with a thumbs up or a thumbs down stamp in his book (and smartie boy would try to hand me the book upside down on the days it came home with a thumbs down stamp). Mornings weren't about working on independent dressings skills, brushing his own teeth, etc. etc..... despite the "looks" from staff... when I said I dressed him, I brushed his teeth, etc. etc....... rather.. I was the one trying to get my resistant boy ready for school and on the bus in the morning with a smile on his face and happy to go to school, with the best chance of having a good day...... and THAT my friends, what like strategic warfare.... land-mine avoidance.
This was also a very busy "season of life" for our family...... the older two were very busy with sports, band, show choir, etc...... and WE were very busy transporting, supporting and cheering for them! BUT Nevin hated going to those events, hated sitting in the bleachers, fought getting in the car, fought standing in the ticket line, etc. etc. He wanted to be HOME..... after being gone all day to school, he wanted to be HOME. I was exhausted, I was frustrated .......and I would NOT have received any nominations for "mother of the year" from any of the observers during those "events" (volleyball games, band concerts, etc.) . We were not helping foster a positive image for Down syndrome awareness (i.e. think..... wild, out of control child with down syndrome, frustrated, angry, exhausted mother) ....... Kevin was driving truck...... gone most of the week.... I was hitting the end...... the very frayed..... very broken...... very ..... very..... end of my rope.
And when you get to the "end of yourself"......... THERE, you find God!! And with the prayer and support of friends/family...... I was able to see that things needed to change, that I needed to trust myself, trust God...... and I truly felt that Nevin needed to be home. I wanted to homeschool him. I felt that it was KEY for him... for me ....and.... for our family.
And so our journey began. We began "Nevin-style" learning......
